I like this simple, succint article that gives 5 tips for married couples.
"All of us, not just singles, need to remember we’re not defined by our work or our differences. We’re defined by our identity as children of God redeemed by the blood of Jesus. Because of that, we all have more in common than we have differences—regardless of age, marital status, or ethnicity."
My chuch has a young professionals group and an older singles group. I'be been to both. I feel like I have more in common with young married couples than I do with single parents. What do you think about how churches group people by lifestages? I value spending time with single women my age, but if that's my only social circle, I feel like I'm missing out on so much wisdom from other populations in my church. What do you think? Most of the small groups at my church are for married couples, significantly limiting my options and leaving me alone because I can't find one I'm welcome to join on the evening I'm free.
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Thursday, July 5, 2018
The idol of marriage and singleness
"The Church has made an idol of marriage." Yup.
"I've made an idol of singleness." Yup.
10 years ago, I was convinced marriage was my ultimate life goal. I would never have thought singleness would be my safe space. I had no idea that someday I would think dating and marriage sounded like too much work to be worth it. My pendulum tends to swing between wishing for marriage and believing singlness is best because it's simply less complicated. In the past few years, I've discovered that not only am I content in my singlness, but I'm comfortable in it. So comfortable, that sometimes I'm reluctant to put myself in situations where I might meet someone. What would I want to tell myself 10 years ago? How do I find balance being content without being complacent? I like what Joy Eggerichs says on this topic.
Watch Joy expound on these ideas in her own words.
"I've made an idol of singleness." Yup.
10 years ago, I was convinced marriage was my ultimate life goal. I would never have thought singleness would be my safe space. I had no idea that someday I would think dating and marriage sounded like too much work to be worth it. My pendulum tends to swing between wishing for marriage and believing singlness is best because it's simply less complicated. In the past few years, I've discovered that not only am I content in my singlness, but I'm comfortable in it. So comfortable, that sometimes I'm reluctant to put myself in situations where I might meet someone. What would I want to tell myself 10 years ago? How do I find balance being content without being complacent? I like what Joy Eggerichs says on this topic.
Watch Joy expound on these ideas in her own words.
Thursday, June 28, 2018
The loneliest hour of my week
I came across an article recently that included this quote:
"I’m convinced there is something very wrong with me! I feel like a complete outcast in each and every church. The weird thing is I don’t feel that way at work, which is a completely secular environment. Lately I’ve been crying all weekend and so grateful to be able to go to work on Monday morning because I know I’m valued and wanted there and I know I am contributing something as well."
I certainly identify with what this woman is saying. In secular environments, no one seems to "care" that I'm single, and I don't feel ignored simply because I don't have a husband. So, why does it feel like that in the church sometimes? This article suggests helpful things that churches can do to support singles, and I recommend you check it out, especially if you're married or in church leadership. Going to church is one of the loneliest parts of my week, and I know that I'm in part to blame. I sit alone every single week and no one has ever invited me to join them. And yet, I see other people sitting alone, and I don't invite them to sit with me. Hospitality and friendliness go both ways. I can't complain too loudly if I'm not willing to do something about it. If my church lacks a small group for singles, maybe I'm the one who needs to lead it. Maybe. It might be your job this time, or it might be mine. Only prayer and seeking wisdom from the Lord can really determine that answer. But, am I truly listening and asking for wisdom? It's far too easy to sit back and wait for someone else to do something about it.
If you're single, then you already know the stuff in this article and are probably nodding your head in agreement. If that's the case, find an article that challenges you as a single person regarding what you can contribute to your church. Challenge yourself to be a blessing to those around you. Do I feel like the church can do more for me and my fellow singles? Of course. And I have plenty of ideas if anyone wants to listen. Can I do more for my church, not just practically, but regarding the philosophy of ministry surrounding singlenss in the church? Absolutely.
"I’m convinced there is something very wrong with me! I feel like a complete outcast in each and every church. The weird thing is I don’t feel that way at work, which is a completely secular environment. Lately I’ve been crying all weekend and so grateful to be able to go to work on Monday morning because I know I’m valued and wanted there and I know I am contributing something as well."
I certainly identify with what this woman is saying. In secular environments, no one seems to "care" that I'm single, and I don't feel ignored simply because I don't have a husband. So, why does it feel like that in the church sometimes? This article suggests helpful things that churches can do to support singles, and I recommend you check it out, especially if you're married or in church leadership. Going to church is one of the loneliest parts of my week, and I know that I'm in part to blame. I sit alone every single week and no one has ever invited me to join them. And yet, I see other people sitting alone, and I don't invite them to sit with me. Hospitality and friendliness go both ways. I can't complain too loudly if I'm not willing to do something about it. If my church lacks a small group for singles, maybe I'm the one who needs to lead it. Maybe. It might be your job this time, or it might be mine. Only prayer and seeking wisdom from the Lord can really determine that answer. But, am I truly listening and asking for wisdom? It's far too easy to sit back and wait for someone else to do something about it.
If you're single, then you already know the stuff in this article and are probably nodding your head in agreement. If that's the case, find an article that challenges you as a single person regarding what you can contribute to your church. Challenge yourself to be a blessing to those around you. Do I feel like the church can do more for me and my fellow singles? Of course. And I have plenty of ideas if anyone wants to listen. Can I do more for my church, not just practically, but regarding the philosophy of ministry surrounding singlenss in the church? Absolutely.
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